Oct 22 letter to Mr. soya

After months of bumming and tirelessly applying for jobs, its a wonder how in just this week I keep on asking myself the same and unbelievably ridiculous and annoying question: 'Mr. Soya where are you?'

Its not about my disastrous embarrassment at Game Ka Na Ba nor my shameful job offer at Smart that I'm asking for him. It's not even the job offer of my wildest expectations too..

Its just like destiny or fate is so busy picking at me. Beyond my wildest and utterly unexplainable imagination did I find my wildest and utterly unexplainable imagination did I find myself looking at the same guy who introduced me to the realization that some metaphors do personalize as I was completely jaw-droppingly awed to the sparkle in his eyes a couple of years back. Last weekend, I was surprised to see him again, but it was nothing to the feelings that rushed over me. Maybe I was awed again, or maybe I just missed him (as if we do bond) I don't know the right answer and explanation. I do know I was happy, the kind that again last for days, although I wish it hasn't. I know it was wrong, definitely wrong.

I suppose I'm convinced that fare really has its ways to play on emotional that fate really has its always to play on emotional aspects of humans. At the very instat I saw him online it happened. Happiness in multi-folds. This has definitely gone wrong.

I have to give this up. I thought I already did together with a teardrop last moonlight. Bust as much as I resist and fight my heart with my brain, the latter lost. And I have to believe that tonight was a stupid mistake. Very stupid!

Mr. Soya I really wish you were here. I most certainly know that one strike of laughter is all it takes to stop all this rediculous nonsense.

--Ruby