in crossroad

In crossroads.

Still I have this big debt. Pussy, my supposed-to-be source of money experienced something unfortunate today that she can't give me the money.. Now I'm in trouble. My brother, with his bitter and angry sentiments about money has been bugging me. I should have asked for 6k instead of 2k. Now, I'm in trouble. I asked another close friend but then he has to asked if his parents will allow him to lend me, and it sucks.. I mean, I don't want to cause trouble to anybody specially ofcourse to him..I'm the one who needs money and if he's gonna be in trouble or at least get himself caught in between then I guess not worth it.. Haaay

Got a good interview although its totally wrong for me to react to the whole lecture with a selfish word such as "exhausting!".. Gosh I was soooo damn wrong about that. I hope 'she' didn't note that (which is totally impossible). Another thing when she asked me to described myself in one word, I should've said what my preliminary interviewer told us: "Ambitious".. Instead I answered driven.. Hay I forgot about that dahil linakad ko ang buong ayala!!!!

Now I'm in crossroads between waiting for my since-college dream company and this emerging nothing-at-all-to-do-with-my-course-but-has-spectacular-benefits-including-travel-and-management company.. Aaaargh what should I do? The second is a dream job for anyone in the country. The benefits and career growth is very promising but sales and marketinG????? However my dream company has very little career growth, what I'll be doing is perfect for my course but the ambition of becoming a manager will remain in my dreams... I'm not as confident as my colleagues with regards to programming etc..

But then, in both companies, I'm subjected to intensive training...
Whatever training I will be enrolled in, I know, sure fire, I will excell...

Still at crossroads... advice please!

words to ponder:
a.Rest and relaxation; travel opportunities; management trainee; makati; benefits; PAYCHECK; partner; 800k; immediate hiring!

b.Computer; how things work; DREAM company; mr. soya; techy; queen of circle; fun fun; pressure; makati;

Words to curse:
a. sales and marketing!; promo girl?; rejection; degrading!!; eewness

b. programming hell; no career growth; stuck; geeky?; no fashion hallway

late june 4 post

Shocked stat on facebook.

I was schocked. Can't believe this is happening. I knew it, may nagdidiin sakin. Haay can I blame him? As Kramer in Seinfeild says "Which is easier, feel sorry or blame you?? BLAME YOU!" More like moving forward or blame you..

June 4

It's 2:25AM... my eyes hurts yet I'm still in front of the screen...

The weather has been cold lately due to frequent rains.. My 'feminine' mood is on strike and I realized the virtue of patience.. The 'Jerome HP' patience!

'Set Print Area'.. How does an employed printer, who's responsibility is to print documents doesn't know that!! I mean how competent is he?!! Gosh! That place is pathetic, and I guess nothing's different from the surrounding shops..

Lost about 40 pesos in tongits and another 15 pesos goes into my stomach! Cream-O choco is just so gooood! yummmy.

I need a therapy regarding my depression.. Is this a thought that I should even consider when almost all my so called friends answered 'depression' in my facebook quiz account?? Even Mr. Soya thinks so. Didn't they know that I'm a highly optimist person?! That I'm not a quitter BUT a fighter?! 'Lucky-charm' thinks so too.. She knows when I academically struggle but despite of all the visible drama and pressure I know and I certainly believe that I can do it.. That I'm a born fighter and will not stop at anything. Love you 'lucky charm!!' But Mr. Soya? Well.. In fairness to him, he does always hear me in distress.. What can I do, he's my output whenever I feel that life is unfair and full of sh*ts. Maybe I should start telling him the other side, the fighter powder girl! haha Share more of the good stuff..

I want to be like Alan Shore!.. The one who always wins in unconventional cases... :p Officially love Boston Legal!!
"Denny Crane, the sound of my name fascinates me.".. XD

Maybe after all this mess.. Once I finally get through it and hopefully be a good sheperd after all.. I want to forget 'this' ever happened between us.. The last memory that I would cherish the most would be the time we shop for tents and got lost a lot of times.. That's a happy one.. We got lost, we window-shopped through a lot of Chinese stores.. DVD hunts.. Ukay-ukay agawan.. lots of pictures even.. Radish Salad.. Dinner.. "Di parin ako makapaniwala nakabili tayo nito!!!!!!" haaaaay after all this.. maybe.. Well I hope.. You're my buddy system, my Friend.. not just an EVP... :) I still hope all is well... :)