in crossroad

In crossroads.

Still I have this big debt. Pussy, my supposed-to-be source of money experienced something unfortunate today that she can't give me the money.. Now I'm in trouble. My brother, with his bitter and angry sentiments about money has been bugging me. I should have asked for 6k instead of 2k. Now, I'm in trouble. I asked another close friend but then he has to asked if his parents will allow him to lend me, and it sucks.. I mean, I don't want to cause trouble to anybody specially ofcourse to him..I'm the one who needs money and if he's gonna be in trouble or at least get himself caught in between then I guess not worth it.. Haaay

Got a good interview although its totally wrong for me to react to the whole lecture with a selfish word such as "exhausting!".. Gosh I was soooo damn wrong about that. I hope 'she' didn't note that (which is totally impossible). Another thing when she asked me to described myself in one word, I should've said what my preliminary interviewer told us: "Ambitious".. Instead I answered driven.. Hay I forgot about that dahil linakad ko ang buong ayala!!!!

Now I'm in crossroads between waiting for my since-college dream company and this emerging nothing-at-all-to-do-with-my-course-but-has-spectacular-benefits-including-travel-and-management company.. Aaaargh what should I do? The second is a dream job for anyone in the country. The benefits and career growth is very promising but sales and marketinG????? However my dream company has very little career growth, what I'll be doing is perfect for my course but the ambition of becoming a manager will remain in my dreams... I'm not as confident as my colleagues with regards to programming etc..

But then, in both companies, I'm subjected to intensive training...
Whatever training I will be enrolled in, I know, sure fire, I will excell...

Still at crossroads... advice please!

words to ponder:
a.Rest and relaxation; travel opportunities; management trainee; makati; benefits; PAYCHECK; partner; 800k; immediate hiring!

b.Computer; how things work; DREAM company; mr. soya; techy; queen of circle; fun fun; pressure; makati;

Words to curse:
a. sales and marketing!; promo girl?; rejection; degrading!!; eewness

b. programming hell; no career growth; stuck; geeky?; no fashion hallway

the forum night

Again, this is a day to remember. A day marked as assurance that we Pro3 students really surpassed our thesis! Haaay.. but then again, I don't feel as relieved. Maybe because, we finished the thesis earlier or many other things happen this day. Well, at first I was really pissed that my thesismates left me the moment they saw the students entering our exhibit room. C'mon!! Takot kayo sa tao?? May usapan ba na ako ang magsasalita.. In a split second, literally they were gone. Sobrang nakakabadtrip talaga! Literal, nagtatago sila!! Grabe, I'm just so glad this will be all over very soon. That way, hindi ko na mararamdaman ang mga nakoooooooooooooo. Haaay nako talaga!!!Buti na lang dumating sila pussy. Sobrang buti na lang!! I felt quite relieved!! "..pabayaan mo na yun!" she told me!

Then I transfered back to 116, got a hold of myself with the help of my friends. Do a little camwhoring with no less than the camwhore himself, Boogie! haha Thanks to pokemon for the shots! haha.. Then lunch treat (c/o Ms. Advise) at Yellowcab, ate four pizzas with half a serving of pasta. Talked about our course's program and curriculum and study habits etc. More like an 'exit interview'... I didn't talked much cause I'm still pissed then I don't like to gather any form of attention. So many ideas to share, but the timing is not just right! (I'm still quite pissed).. Konting reactions lang. Kahit na sports pa ung topic, na forteng forte ko! Plus ung mga org issues na isa pang gustong gusto ko talaga pakeelaman.

Then we head back to our beloved building, superior man asked me to do his introduction in his trademark way na sobrang naisip ko na buti na lang talaga matatapos na tong term na to!! Grrrr.. !@##$ Anyway, as the forum goes on, I took pictures of our superior man presenting and Boogie. Nagflash pa naman ung camera ko! Kala ko papalabasin ako. Bawal ata! During Boogie's term, tawa ako ng tawa.. feeling ko kasi parang dine-dare lang cya ni Recycla. Lalo na ung "There you Go!" hahaha

Next, we went two rooms away from the forum. Without any plans, unspoken words were already in our mind read as "Eto na ung moment!" Through much much much much much combined efforts from me, Recycla, pussy and all those who cries 'peace on earth'... Finally!!!! as in Finally talaga!! nagkaaayos na.. Tried so hard to resist my tears from falling.. Sobrang naiiyak ako sa moment na yun lalo na pag nakikita ko pa ung isa na umiiyak...tas si Recycla din.... Haaay So loved that moment! It just proves that our friendship became stronger talaga. We were able to surpass that stage! Imagine, we thought hindi na talaga pwede. Even time throw them (and us na rin) apart.. Pero still we made it.. Baka ganun talaga pag barkada. Kahit wala ng salita, kahit hindi ikaw yung 'subject', you would still feel the loss, and with this loss you just hope and aim that everything will be alright soon!! Mag step-up na ang dapat magstep-up, makielam na! Aaaaw how sweeeeeeeeeeeeet!! Love you guys!! overnyt a

Finally, some makeup session then supercamwhoring again sa strc then Moa. Ate at Kenny Rogers then Libot.. Finally everythings ok for us..

My world is starting to turn without me noticing.. Soon I will face my greatest fear-- the End. waaaaaa ayoko muna isipin. Sa sobrang stressed ko tonight ( to the fact na kelangan pa akong icheer ni ate condo, partner and Boogie dahil naiiyak na ako) iseselective memory ko na muna!

*Sobrang thanks kay partner.. oo magppamper muna ako tom, I'm so happy kasi we can still talk katulad ng dati.. Walang nagbago :) Jan ka pa rin.. sinasaktuhan mo lagi ung emo moments ko :p

*Kay Boogie na nagsabing "ngaun ka ba bibtaw... dati nga ikaw pa naguuplift ng spirit namin e" aaaaaaw.. So happy talaga para sa power thesis nyo!! di ko pa naeexpress ng sobra sobra!! finally! gusto ko kayo ihug ng super higpit isa isa!!!! powerhug?! nakiki-sara G! :P

*Kay ate condo for "im proud of u my favorite cousin" aaaaaaaaw fave din kita sobra! hehe miss you!